Santa with Muscles is a 1996 Christmas comedy film directed by John Murlowski (Amityville: A New Generation, Freeway Killer, Cop Dog, & Black Cadillac). It was written by Jonathan Bond (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure), Fred Mata (Scanner Cop), & Dorrie Krum Raymond. It was produced by The Shuster brothers (Firestorm, Blood Money, Committed, Power of Attorney, & Out On Bail) & the real life “The Wolf of Wall Street” Jordan Belfort. It only lasted two weeks in theaters where it grossed $220,198 during it’s limited run. Blake Thorn (played by: Hulk Hogan from WWF, WCW, No Holds Barred, & Suburban Commando) is a conceited self-made millionaire who sells bodybuilding supplements & equipment that have his picture on them. One day, while recklessly playing paintball, he is targeted by officer Hinkley (played by: Clint Howard from Ice Cream Man, Evilspeak, Silent Night Deadly Night 4/5, Leprechaun 2, & Ticks). He is chased to a shopping mall, where he hides by putting on a Santa costume. He slides down a garbage chute to escape the police & bangs his head which results in amnesia.
Con man & lead Elf Lenny (played by: Don Stark from Evilspeak, Arcade, Freaked, & That 70s Show) convinces Blake that he really is Santa Claus. Meanwhile, the evil scientist Ebner Frost (played by: Ed Begley, Jr. from Cat People, Dead of Night, Elvis, & Batman Forever) tries to take over an orphanage in order to gain access to the magical crystals underneath it. He dispatches his henchmen which includes Dr. Blight (plsyed by: Steve Valentine from Mars Attacks!, The Shrunken City, The Walk, & Spider-Man 3), Dr. Watt (played by: Diane Robin from Robocop, Sudden Death, Revenge of the Nerds IV, & Adventures in Babysitting), Dr. Flint (played by: Kevin West from Super Mario Bros, Junior, Bio-Dome, & Desert Heat), & Sumo (played by: Ed “Brutus The Barber Beefcake” Leslie from WWF, WCW, Thunder in Paradise, & The Ultimate Weapon) to destroy it. Blake after discovering that being Santa has made him a better person & that Frost wants to destroy the very same orphanage he grew up in, manages to rescue the children which includes Sarah (played by: Mila Kunis from That 70s Show, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Family Guy, & Max Payne) & Taylor (played by: Adam Wylie from Child’s Play II, The Stepfather III, Children of the Corn V, & Return to Sleepaway Camp). Plus workers like Leslie (played by: Robin Curtis from Ghost Story, The Unborn II, & the Star Trek franchise) & Clayton (played by: Garrett Morris from Coneheads, How High, The Stuff, & Martin). He changed his personality, can he save these kids from this evil group????
Santa with Muscles was pretty damn bad. It might be one of the worst movies that I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve never heard of it until the great folks at Mill Creek Entertainment released this Blu Ray. Hulk Hogan was at the top of his game in the wrestling world at the time so he was getting all kinds of leading roles back then. Let’s be honest, Hulk couldn’t act to save his life. When he did action features, he could handle those a little better. This was a comedy so he really struggled here. That’s probably why Santa with Muscles had so many familiar faces & character actors in it to help boost the quality of the production. They all tried their best while having fun with their roles but couldn’t save this. The script was awful & that combined with Hulk’s acting was dreadful. I will say that the movie wasn’t boring at all. It very weird at times. If you are looking to riff a bad film with some friends while drinking, this might be a great choice. It’s definitely an interesting entry in the wrestler movie sub-genre.
Let’s talk about the high definition presentation from Mill Creek Entertainment! This 1080p (1:85:1) transfer looks solid for a low budget 90s film. It’s definitely a major upgrade over the 2012 DVD & older VHS. The English: DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 track is just okay. The dialogue sounds good & the music is decent here. It has English SDH subtitles. There’s no extras on the disc. It comes with a digital code. Thanks to Mill Creek Entertainment, this is on blu ray for the very first time & before lots of classics are still only on either DVD or VHS. Hulk Hogan, Wrestling, & Christmas movie fans will probably enjoy this disc. It’s available everywhere right now!!!!